patterns – Jenn Sheridan

Calendar Readings and the Energy of 2015

“Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.” ~ Johnny Cash

I love January. Much like the “new school year” energy of September, the beginning of a new year has a beautiful blank slate quality to it. For many people, it only takes a couple of weeks for that feeling to wear off — hence the rapid failure of so many New Year’s resolutions — but if you can harness that energy through setting your intention and raising your awareness, it can be an incredibly powerful time.

I have three rituals I perform every January. 1) A burning bowl ritual. It’s a great way to cleanse yourself of the energy from last year as you move into the new year. This year I included my boys in the process, which was laughable as my 3-year-old discovered the joys of fire and I quickly had to move the ritual outside while they talked to me through the window. 2) Visioning. Fran Klos and I co-facilitate a workshop to kick off each year with guided meditation, visualization, journaling, and a vision board. It’s a fabulous way to connect with your big picture vision for your life and for your year, listening to your inner wisdom to tell you what’s up for you this year and set you up for whatever goal-setting rituals you like to do. And 3) Calendar readings. By far my favorite intuitive reading to do for both myself and others, I love the insights I gain about the big picture energy that this new year is presenting more universally, the personal energy that is coming up for each individual, and how those energies are weaving together.

So while January always has a blank slate quality to it, it is especially noteworthy this year as the energy coming into 2015 is emphasizing a separation from the past so that we can experience life from a fresh perspective. The past few years have been intense, often feeling like we were being forced to drink water from a fire hose. These years have changed us fairly rapidly, at the very least energetically, but for most of us tangibly in our lives as well. While societally we have spent the past few decades focusing a lot of energy on the past — psychoanalyzing ourselves and dwelling on our history, personally and globally — this focus is no longer serving us, and may potentially even be to our detriment. I’m not talking about not learning from our mistakes — quite the contrary. What I’m talking about is learning from our mistakes and then moving on. Really moving on. Rehashing what has already happened steeps us in the energy that created those mistakes and makes it difficult for us to really show up in a new way when the next similar situation arises. As Einstein said, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” We need to fully separate from the old in order to truly experience the new, in part because we really aren’t the same people we used to be and we can’t really see that and experience what that means until we truly let go of what has come before and allow ourselves to use our new eyes to see.

What do I mean by our new eyes? It’s as if we are all walking around wearing scuba gear even though we can now breathe under water. This scuba diver keeps walking through my head and my readings, clumping around in his heavy gear, gear that is pretty high maintenance to boot, and it’s all completely unnecessary. The shear weight of it — can you imagine releasing all that weight, how much easier and freer you would feel in your endeavors large and small? Our awareness of this shift is at varying levels — some people are completely unaware, typically the folks who are clinging so hard to nostalgia of our past that they are fighting and resisting change in all aspects of their lives; some people are aware a shift is taking place but haven’t seen much evidence in their own lives to understand what this means for them yet, perhaps not willing to embrace change until they understand where it is leading them; some people have taken their helmets off and are wide-eyed and amazed at how easily they are able to do things they used to really struggle with; and there are even some who have taken the whole suit off and are beginning to live their lives in ways that probably seem very strange to the rest of us. The news is full of reports that point strongly towards that first category, which can make it so easy to miss the shift that is taking place everywhere else. But it is going to become harder and harder to miss, and for most of us, we are going to find that we need to actively be a part of that shift. As Anais Nin said, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

So how can you tell if the pain you’re experiencing is bud pain or blossom pain? That question can be answered with another question — which voice are you following, the one that wants to keep you small and reminds you of your flaws and how you’re not good enough and all that, or the one that wants to push you out of your comfort zone into a place that is going to let you let your light shine in a new way? If it feels familiar (and ultimately icky), it’s bud pain. If it feels new and possibly a little scary, it’s blossom pain. That bud pain is only going to get more and more uncomfortable, and yes, it can be scary to blossom and you can end up progressing in fits and starts, but ultimately you get to emerge like a butterfly coming from its cocoon, with fresh wings that want you to fly and soar to new heights. How freeing!

Which brings us back to our blank slate. We are creating a new world, and we get to make choices about what that looks like. If we continue to operate from the level of thinking that created the world’s current problems, we will end up with more of the same. But if we can show up with the eyes of a child, looking at each situation we find ourselves in with the freshest perspective we can muster, we can open ourselves up to new ways of perceiving the world around us, and new ideas about where we want to go from here and how we want to get there. It’s funny because I think if we’d been struck with this energy a few years ago, we would have found it intense and possibly even a little overwhelming, but instead, after the bulldozer that’s been knocking us down the past few years, this feels like a breath of fresh air. For me, at least, I feel like I’ve lost a pressure on my chest I didn’t even know was there — I can breath so much easier with this energy shift, literally and figuratively. I find myself embracing Who I Am with a gusto that I didn’t even know I had, standing tall and asking for what I need, asking how I can serve, and sharing my gifts from a well far deeper than I’ve ever seen it. So yes, there’s an intensity about this year, but there’s also a strong dose of intentional choice, and so I am choosing to see this year as powerful and empowering. It’s all in your perspective after all.

Does this resonate with you? What kinds of new clarity (and challenges) do you see cropping up for you? What kinds of old patterns and baggage are cropping up for you to let go of, enabling you to be your own gardener pulling weeds? I’d love to hear how things are going for you. And if you’re interested in gaining more insight into what all of this means for you this year, I’ll be doing calendar readings through at least February 15th. And BONUS! Anyone who signs up for their calendar reading between now and then gets entered into a drawing for a free issue-specific intuitive reading to be used at any point in 2015. No matter what you choose, I look forward to hearing how 2015 is shaping up for you, and what choices you are making to help shift your energy and the energy around you towards the freedom and expansion that is becoming increasingly available to us all. Namaste.

De-funking

Ah yes, there are few things more debilitating than the slippery slope of a funk. Whatever the initial cause, be it a breakup or mild depression or gloomy weather or you’re just having a really bad day (or week, or…), once you’ve fallen down the rabbit hole, it can be ridiculously hard to crawl back out again. I cannot count the number of times I’ve been sitting with a bowl of ice cream or a glass of wine or the TV remote (or possibly all three at once) thinking (knowing) that these choices I’m making are the exact opposite of the ones I, ahem, should be making in order to turn things around, but the feeling of apathy is so strong that it’s just a passing thought. And that “should” is telling too, because that critically undermining voice in my head has free reign in those moments, telling me all the things I’m doing wrong and playing on my worst fears. Sigh.

So I think we could all make a (long) list of all the things *not* to do in these instances, those things we all too often do even though we know they’re likely to make us feel worse in the long run. And I think most of us could also make a (long) list of all the things we think we *should* be doing in these instances, those things that we probably won’t do because the stretch is too far and we’ll feel so guilty for knowing we won’t do them that the thought of them will send us running for the chocolate even faster, because hey, if you’re gonna “fail” you might as well do it with chocolate. Neither of those lists is especially useful once the funk has already gotten a hold of you. Instead, my goal here is to come up with an alternative list, a list of those things that just maybe could tip the balance just enough to end the slide and just maybe start to turn things around again. It’s about the subtle shift of vibration, reaching for a thought that feels better, as Abraham says, so you can at the very least “stop the bleeding.”

Baby steps. First and foremost, it is very important to stress (especially to myself) that this is all about BABY STEPS. The reason those “good for you” things don’t help is that they feel too distant from where you already are. If you’ve never been on a pair of skis in your life, you know to avoid the black diamond slopes–the gap between your skill level and the skill level needed to succeed there is just too great. Well, this is no different, really. You may think you have plenty of skill–and under different circumstances you most certainly do–but for now, it is in your best interests not to try to do too much too fast.

Start where you are. A corollary thought is to acknowledge that you are where you are, and to be gentle about it. I wrote a post a few years back about starting where you are as it relates to achieving your goals, but the same idea applies here. “Starting where you are is about being loving and compassionate towards yourself. You may dream of what you want your life to look like, who you want to be, and often that leads to beating yourself up, judging yourself and finding yourself lacking. This is counterproductive, placing the emphasis on what you don’t want instead of on what you do want. The first thing to do is to recognize that you are where you are, and while you are capable of realizing your dreams, you have to be gentle with yourself as you take the steps necessary to get there. I like to think of it as building your muscles. If you had a dream of running a marathon, you wouldn’t try to run 26.2 miles tomorrow. You would put a training program in motion and build your muscles and your endurance to enable success. Each step in the training program is a stretch and while you get close to your objective during training, the day of the event is the day you actually achieve your goal.” See, baby steps!

Choose a thought that feels better. All right, so now that you’re focused on starting where you are and only taking baby steps, the next goal is to choose a thought that feels better. I love that this idea seems to be such an inherent part of our collective consciousness now, but I remember when I was first introduced to the idea in Abraham-Hicks’s Ask and It is Given, I was blown away (in the best possible sense) by the simplicity and power of this practice. In a process called “Moving Up the Emotional Scale,” they lay out a scale of emotions from best-feeling (joy, knowledge, empowerment, freedom, love, appreciation) to worst-feeling (fear, grief, depression, despair, powerlessness). Yup, that funk is at the very bottom of their emotional scale. The good news? There’s 22 feelings on this list, and you don’t need to go all the way from 22 to 1 in one sitting. In fact, that’s likely to be impossible. Instead, all you have to do is reach for a better-feeling thought that is somewhere up the scale from where you. Guilt? #21. Anger? #17. Frustration? #10. Even the smallest shift can get the energy moving in an upwards direction.

Dance. Depending on your mood, this one might be out of reach, but with just the right combination of funk + beginnings of an energy shift, you might be able to turn on some body-moving music and let nature take its course. Just getting off the couch and doing a little head-banging may be all you’re capable of, but it may also be enough to raise that vibration up another notch or two.

Write. Again, this may feel like too much of a stretch, but especially if your funk originated with some worry or anger or jealousy, you might find writing to be a powerful tool to take some of those thoughts that keep swirling through your head and get rid of them on the paper so that they can start to let you go. I would definitely recommend pen and paper for this exercise–the visceral connection with the pen and watching the flow of letters on the page make a real connection between what you’re writing and letting it go. It’s flowing out of you, into the pen, and onto the paper. If it makes you feel better to think of it as writing a letter to the person that first upset you, all the better . . . so long as you don’t mail it.

Cut yourself some slack. This one can be hard to do when in the throes of a funk, but if you’ve started to feel the winds change you might be ready to cut yourself some slack. That TV show you’re watching? Not the end of the world. This is where you are right now, and you are already taking steps, however small, to shift that energy. Give yourself some credit for what you’ve been able to do–and here’s the key–without also giving yourself a hard time for what you haven’t. Rome wasn’t build in a day, and you’re not going to shift from depression to joy in a day either. So acknowledge whatever shift you *have* been able to achieve and end the internal conversation there.

Keep the energy moving. Okay, so maybe it’s the next day and you’re no longer in the depths of despair. Hallelujah! Take a moment to celebrate yourself for taking the baby steps necessary to get yourself up and out of that hole. But the mistake we all too often make is to stop there. You’re feeling so much better that the depression of yesterday seems distant and fuzzy, but it’s likely that you’re now at worry or frustration or doubt–in other words, not completely out of the woods. That slope is still a slippery one, and while you’re on much better footing today, there are more baby steps you can take to continue that upward momentum. Maybe you’ve already got a strong spiritual practice, in which case you know that it really doesn’t take much–a few minute meditation, a repetition of your mantra, singing a verse of a chant–to get you reconnected to your Source. It doesn’t take much, but it does need to be done. For more ideas about taking those baby steps a little further into the realm of connection, check out this post I wrote back in the day about Reconnecting. Chances are you got to this point via some old patterns, so maybe it’s time to start creating some new ones.

As with much of what I write, I wrote this for me far more than for anybody else. Once I find myself on that slippery slope, old patterns kick in and make it so so so easy to just keep on slip-sliding away. I’ve found myself on more than one occasion looking for that inspiration that will just keep it from getting worse–I know what’s at the bottom of the hole and I don’t want to go there–but that reach all too often feels too great. I’m bookmarking this post, adding it to my “In Case of Emergency, Break Glass” list. And I would love to hear from you too–what do you think? What here really resonates with you? And what has worked for you in the past to help shift you out of a funk? Namaste.

Photo: “rising up“, by gato-gato-gato

Do you really mean it?

You know that feeling when life grants you a wish, and everything feels like it’s falling into place for a while? It’s such a delicious feeling, with joy and love and a sense of fulfillment blossoming in your heart. It’s like you have the ultimate green thumb, and everything you touch flourishes. I don’t know about you, but for me, I always have this sense of relief, like I’ve finally gotten it, like I’ve arrived. Ah, such sweetness.

And then the next week, or day, or hour even, Something Happens. It might be small–a stubbed toe–or perhaps seem ginormous and overwhelming–a broken leg or, ahem, a pinched nerve. It might appear that life is throwing a curve ball–a reorg at the office–or perhaps it looks like a thrown game–a layoff or a car accident. Whatever it is, it feels completely out of the blue, completely at odds with the sweetness, completely disorienting.

You might think that these situations were created from completely different places, from drastically different energies. One is obviously creative while the other is obviously destructive, yes? Total mixed messages, right? Probably not. In my experience, 9 times out of 10–at least!– they are two sides of the same coin, the exact same delicious, creative energies just showing up in different ways.

This is what I call the Do-You-Really-Mean-Its. You’ve set your intention, aligned with your source, manifested your desires, and it is wonderful. But do you really mean it? Are you already beginning to slip back into old patterns of self-doubt, or perhaps making excuses for why you can’t really do all of those things you were all excited to tackle just yesterday? Or maybe it’s you who have been sending out the mixed messages, setting an intention one day and its opposite the next? And so, in order to clarify what it is you really are looking for in this life, the universe gives you a slightly different reflection of what it is you’ve been desiring.

You might be thinking, “Slightly different? Seriously? But I just got laid off!!” Well yes, to the infinite nature of the universe, that *is* slightly different. You asked for work that was in greater alignment with your spirit, right? Well, step the first was to release the old work that was no longer a match for you. (I’ve always loved being laid off for exactly this reason, so grateful to have the space necessary for me to let go of the old and embrace the new.)

This week my challenge has been to learn how to embrace the pinched nerve in my back. At first I was filled with despair–hadn’t I *just* been writing about how I was moving away from the overwhelm of physical pain? Way to knock the wind out of my sails! But then I remembered to take a deep breath and look this experience straight in the eye, and I saw it for what it really was, a Do-You-Really-Mean-It. I’d been in ostrich-mode for a year and a half, sending out a strong intention of wanting to hole up and avoid life. What better way to do that than to be forced to lie in bed for a few days? The universe was asking me which intention was the real one–to live life vibrantly, fully, and out loud? Or to be an ostrich? When I got that, I was able to answer with a resounding, “Yes, Please! I am ready to be truly LIVING again!” with a little, “Hey, next time, can you find a gentler way to ask?” thrown in for good measure.

Trust me, it ain’t always easy dealing with the Do-You-Really-Mean-Its. In fact, they are almost always challenging. But they are also great opportunities to send out “rockets of desire,” as Abraham would say, truly clarifying your intention within you and for all that vast power of the universe at the same time. This pinched nerve has been my opportunity to shake off my inner ostrich in places I didn’t even realize it was still lingering, and to surrender to the flow of life, allowing the true priorities to make themselves known (did you know that I was one of them? go figure!) in the process. Namaste.

Step 5: Trust Your Intuition

From the Steps to Learning How to Fly series.

Life always gives us exactly the teacher we need at every moment. This includes every mosquito, every misfortune, every red light, every traffic jam, every obnoxious supervisor (or employee), every illness, every loss, every moment of joy or depression, every addiction, every piece of garbage, every breath. Every moment is the guru.
~Joko Beck

Have you ever had a feeling or a hunch about something that you just couldn’t rationalize? Did it end up being right on the money? For the longest time I dismissed those feelings, using my reasoning and rationalization skills to either come to the same conclusion or the opposite one depending on what I wanted to see. If I had learned earlier to trust those feelings, I would have saved myself considerable anguish in my life, but apparently it was a lesson I needed to learn the long way.

What I know now is that the universe and my inner wisdom are speaking to me all the time. When I pay attention to these messages, things fall into place with such ease I’m in awe. When I don’t pay attention or ignore these messages, things have a way of getting messy and tangled. So what’s the trick to getting in touch with your intuition? The good news is we’ve already talked about the two things I think are most important to pave the way: clearing the slate and conscious connection. When you reduce the distractions in your life and take the time to be still and listen each day, you are building the muscles needed in order to discern which of those voices in your head is your intuition.

As the quote above suggests, messages show up in a myriad of ways, and they are always coming to us. Sometimes an idea will just pop into your head, other times a book will fall off a shelf. Perhaps you turn on the radio and the lyrics to the song playing are the answer to a question that’s been bugging you, or you get an email from a friend telling you about how they just solved a problem you’ve been struggling with. Or it might be that you run out of gas in front of a building with a mural painted on the side, and the words in the mural are exactly what you needed to be reminded of. Once you begin to pay attention, you will see these kinds of messages everywhere!

You can consciously cultivate this process by doing things like using an oracle card deck or playing “book roulette”–play around with these ideas until you find a method that feels good to you. There are hundreds of oracle card decks on the market these days from a wide variety of authors and artists. My current favorites are angel cards by Doreen Virtue, which I discovered on a retreat to Sedona I went on last fall. One of my friends had a deck that she used each day, pulling out a card and reading its message. By the end of the retreat, the whole group was doing it. I had never been into angels previously myself, but these cards are beautifully designed and the readings to go with them are simple and metaphysical, and almost always exactly what I need to hear. “Book roulette” will work with just about any book, but I would recommend using one that you find to be especially wise. Some people like to use the Bible, others use The Science of Mind, by Ernest Holmes, known as “the textbook” to many Religious Scientists. I’ve had great luck with Sufi poetry–my favorites are Hafiz and Rumi. And my guess is Eat, Pray, Love would work wonderfully for me as well. Once you have a book in hand, formulate a question and then open the book at random. Start reading wherever your eyes fall on the page or use your finger to point at a passage.

Fear is also a wonderful route to getting in touch with your intuition, even if that doesn’t sound especially intuitive. The voice of fear is almost always telling you what you need to do in order to stay small, to stay exactly where you are and avoid changing and growing. I’ve learned that because of this, if I do what it is telling me NOT to do, I open myself up for great discoveries, or at the very least the opportunity to neutralize an old pattern. It can be as small as picking up the phone to call someone or as big as quitting your job. Last year, I spent a lot of time trying to “figure out” what I should do about my work. I got the message to leave my job over and over and over again, but I rationalized it away, saying that was just wishful thinking. The voice of fear kept reminding me that I needed a job for a million reasons, from money to having a hole in my resume to “what would people think?” The day I decided to give my notice it was like the dark cloud over my head lifted and the sun came out and I was light as a feather and filled with joy. It resonating so deeply within me that I finally recognized which voice was which and knew that it was the right thing for me to do.

Now that you’re ready to listen to your intuition, to those messages the universe is sending you, to the wisdom that lies within you, the next step is to learn to trust it enough to follow where it leads. Trust is a muscle, just like anything else, and it has to be built. Start with something that feels small, that feels like you have nothing to lose, like what to have for dinner tonight or what to wear to work tomorrow. Feel the difference between doing the thing your intuition tells you to do and ignoring it. For me anyway, once I started paying attention to what was resonating versus what wasn’t, it was easy for me to trust. It definitely feels better! As Nike says, Just do it–you’ll thank yourself later.

Step 3: Shift Your Perspective

From the Steps to Learning How to Fly series.

How would it be if everything that you thought you knew / Was turned upside down opposite from your point of view / How would you feel if the ground was really the sky and all of this time / you’ve been walkin’ when you coulda been flying . . .
~ Ellis, How Would It Be

Have you ever seen one of those images where if you look at it one way it looks like one thing, but if you shift your perspective it looks like something else entirely? There’s the classic from Intro to Psych where the same image looks like an old lady or a young lady. Or the one where you can tell which side of the brain you are using depending on which direction the lady is spinning, and for some of us even switch the direction she is spinning in. Or really, just about any of M.C. Escher’s work, where he plays with reality by throwing physics out the window. Perspective is part of what makes us human and is probably the best example of relativity I can think of because there is nothing permanent about it, nothing absolute–it can always be changed, shifted, adjusted as new information comes in or as we make new choices.

Choice is perhaps the most powerful concept available to anyone interested in making changes in their life. Dictionary.com offers at least a dozen definitions of choice; my favorites are 1) an act or instance of choosing; selection; 2) the right, power, or opportunity to choose; option; and 3) an alternative. This idea of selection, of opportunity, of options, of alternatives, can be applied to our lives in a myriad of ways. Let’s start by looking at three:

1. Choose your reaction. How you react to what’s happening to you and around you is a choice. Even just looking at life as a series of events that are happening to you is a choice. We are active participants in our lives with more power than most of us can imagine, let alone tap into, but a place that is (relatively) easy to start is with our reactions. When someone cuts in front of you in line at the store, you have a choice whether to view it as an active insult, an honest mistake, or not to care either way. When someone else is having a bad day and bites your head off, you have a choice about whether to get mad in return or to recognize where they’re coming from and to see past the attitude. It’s a matter of perspective, of where you’re coming from and how you’re feeling in that moment. Sometimes even just being aware that there are alternative ways to react to a situation diffuses it and provides you with what you need in order to take a step back, detach yourself, and choice a more positive perspective. Does this mean that suddenly the people around us in our lives aren’t rude or whatnot? Not necessarily. The power in this is that it is 100% about you and what you choose to do with the situation–whatever is going on with the other person doesn’t need to come into play, especially since the only person you have control over, really ever, is yourself.

2. Choose anew. Each moment is an opportunity to make a new choice. A teacher of mine used to say, “You aren’t responsible for your first thought but you are responsible for your second thought.” Especially when you’re just learning how to shift your reactions to things, the first thing that comes up for you is often the familiar pattern or habit that’s been with you for most of your life. It’s okay, there’s no need to beat yourself up here. This is a great opportunity to use that power of choice to shift your perspective and choose anew. While Scarlett O’Hara’s observation that “tomorrow is another day” is definitely true, coming right up is another moment for you to use as you see fit. The goal here is to pay attention to your thoughts, your moods, whatever is happening right now and see if those reactions are really in your best interest in this moment. So let’s say you’re back at that store with the person cutting you off in line. If you find yourself getting angry and starting to mumble under your breath, pause for a moment, take a deep breath, maybe shake your hand or your foot a bit like you’re letting the anger fall out of you, and find a thought that feels better. Maybe notice that it is difficult to tell where the line goes and it’s a mistake that anyone could make, or perhaps conjure up some sympathy when you see that the person is obviously distraught and just not paying attention, or even just laugh it off. Laughter is amazingly restorative and, at least for me, always makes me feel better no matter what is going on.

3. Choose to focus on the positive. Have you ever noticed how many of our cliches, adages, sayings are about things not going our way? When we talk about money, we say how it doesn’t grow on trees or how we need to make sure we’re saving it for a rainy day. When we talk about love, we say how it is fickle and fleeting or we banter about how hard it is to find a good man or woman these days. On your way into work in the morning if you meet a colleague on the way in, what do you talk about? My guess is how little sleep you got the night before or how much work is waiting for you on your desk or that flu that’s been going around. Try a little experiment sometime and don’t go with the flow here, talk about how great you’re feeling and what a beautiful day it is and how you’re really looking forward to that project you’re getting to work on today. If you’re lucky you can shift the tenor of the conversation; if not, you might just recognize how ingrained all this negativity is in our culture, our expectations, our way of life.

The law of attraction has gotten a lot of attention lately, some good and some bad. Wherever you are on that spectrum, it is definitely worth taking the time to truly understand what the law of attraction is all about.* It is an incredibly simple concept that is not necessarily easy to put into practice. The gist is that what you put out into the universe is what comes back to you, so if your thoughts, feelings, beliefs are generally negative then you’ll get more negative back and if you’re focusing on the positive, you’ll get positive in return. I like to think of it as a cosmic photocopier–it isn’t a perceptive process, it just takes in what it gets and returns it in kind. It doesn’t have the power of discernment, can’t say, “Oh, what she meant here was . . .” Often when we’re thinking about what it is we want, our attention is on what it is we feel is missing in our lives–and exactly that, what is MISSING instead of on what it is we desire–and so we get more of the “missing” back in return. It’s kind of like being asked NOT to think about a pink elephant–the first thing that happens is that you think about a pink elephant.

This is where the power of choice comes into play. As with the earlier examples, it is a matter of paying attention to what’s happening in your head and in your life and using that power of choice to shift your perspective, make new choices, see the good even when it doesn’t appear to be there. There are millions of inputs into this system every day and it is not possible to control all of them, but you can control the ones you’re conscious of and choose to shift your attention to the positive, to what feels good to you. As with anything else, start where you are today and see if you can turn even one thing around, then maybe shoot for two tomorrow. With each thought, belief, pattern you shift each day, you’ll begin to see your life shifting around you too.

Just remember, there’s no one right way to do things. The only mistake you can make is not to try, to notice that things aren’t going the way you would like them to and to choose not to do anything about them. Because yes, even appearing to not make a choice is a choice. Life is not a dress rehearsal, but it can definitely be a play with you as the playwright and the star. What new choices would you make if you really knew you couldn’t make a mistake, that you’ll always be supported, that there will always be something new out there for you to explore? What’s stopping you?

Recommended Viewing:

The Secret
What the Bleep Do We Know!?

Step 2: Clear The Slate

From the Steps to Learning How to Fly series.

One of the largest obstacles to living life fully is the white noise, the clutter that builds up in our minds and bodies. Think of yourself as a receiver–in addition to the voice of your intuition, your inner guidance system, you’re getting input from your environment, from the people around you, and from the other voices in your head like fear and your inner critic. We recently got a new clock radio that picks up so many stations, it often dilutes the quality of the ones we want to listen to, creating static and dissonance. This is what having so much input all at once does to you–it clogs up the works so that you can’t hear the messages coming to you from the universe, you can’t discern the difference between what is resonating for you versus what isn’t, you can’t see what is being placed in your path for you to work on. It all just becomes noise.

Clearing the slate is about looking closely at these distractions, cleaning things up inside and out so you can actually see and hear what’s going on. The first place I would recommend looking is at your physical environment. Do you tend to have clutter around you, on your coffee table, your dresser, your desks at home and at work? Are your closets overflowing with all of the things that have just been shoved in there? Is your car full of empty water bottles and fast food bags you were too busy to throw out? When things around us are chaotic and disorderly, it tends to generate chaos in our minds as well. Treat yourself to some time this week to tackle an organization project that has been on your mind for a while, and take a few minutes each day to arrange your home and office, picking things up and throwing things away as you go so that are living and working surrounded by harmony.

As you begin to establish order in your life, you may begin to notice the source of some of your other distractions. Begin to pay attention to your thought processes, especially when you hear things like “I can’t do that because . . .” or “I don’t have time . . .” or “Maybe one day I’ll be able to . . .” The idea that we don’t have enough time to do the things we want to do is a choice. How much time do you spend watching television, having a beer (or two or more), gossiping by the water cooler, playing video games (and yes, computer solitaire counts), or reading about what’s happening in celebrities’ lives? Sure, there are plenty of things we do throughout the day that are necessary, but there are plenty more that are essentially just time suckers, distractions that keep us from even thinking about what it is we’d really like to be doing with our time, let alone actually acting on those ideas.

Another way we distract ourselves is by living in the past instead of in the present, defining ourselves by what has come before instead of where we are today. Each moment is a new moment, with the opportunity to make a new choice. When we cling to old ideas, old beliefs, old patterns, we keep ourselves locked in the past. When we hold on to perceived hurts, we get weighed down, hurting ourselves anew every time we think of them. Letting go of these things fills you with such energy, with such lightness, that you can use it as a springboard, catapulting you in the direction of your dreams. Make the choice to put down the baggage you’ve been carrying around with you, forgiving yourself and those who have hurt you, recognizing that right now is the only moment that really is and choosing to live it from a place of love and light and laughter.

At this point you are probably ready for some cleansing of the body and the mind. A little self-love goes a long way here. You might choose to do a fast of some sort, although really, the goal here is to do something that feels good for yourself, that feels nurturing. It might be as simple as making yourself a special meal where the only special occasion is that you’re taking care of yourself. Or you might choose to eliminate or reduce something in your diet that you tend to overindulge in. Or you might choose to follow the Native tradition of smudging, burning sage to cleanse your home and yourself of any negative feelings or influences that have built up there. Whatever you choose to do, find something that is meaningful to you and imbue it with a sense of ceremony, allowing it to really sink in on all levels.

Following are a couple of exercises you can use to help with the process of letting go. You might use them alone or in conjunction with some of the ideas we’ve already discussed here. I don’t follow any specific schedule, but when things start to get clogged up for me, I often receive a message that says it is time to do a burning bowl or do some forgiveness work. When you listen to your inner wisdom, you will know when is the right time for you as well.

Forgiveness Exercise

There are many guided meditations out there that will walk you through a forgiveness exercise. I like to do this simple exercise that is a melding of various traditions I’ve been introduced to along the way.

Start by making yourself comfortable in a sitting position–you can use a more traditional meditation stance if you’d like, but sitting cross-legged in your favorite chair works just as well. Close your eyes and spend a few minutes breathing deeply, visualizing the tension flowing out of your muscles as you move from the top of your head down to your toes. You might choose to envision yourself being enveloped in a loving presence, full of kindness and compassion and unconditional love. Know that you are truly loved, inside and out, and that nothing you could ever do would shake that love.

When you’ve achieved a feeling of peace and relaxation, bring into your mind’s eye a picture of the person you are ready to forgive, which might even be yourself, and see them sitting across from you. Visualize this individual in the same state of peace and relaxation that you are. Take a few minutes to speak your peace, stating what it was that they did that hurt you and how it made you feel. This is not about blaming them or telling them that they are wrong–this is a time for you to talk about your perception of what happened and its effects on you. Talk until you’ve gotten it all out of your system and you feel like you are ready to move on.

Keeping the image of this person in your mind’s eye, acknowledge that whether the hurt was intentional or unintentional, you are ready to release it. Tell them out loud that you forgive them and ask for their forgiveness in return. Imagine both of you being filled with a cleansing white light, and allow yourself to float in this light, feeling free of the weight that has just been lifted from you. Allow the other person to float off along their own path, blessing them on their journey. Stay in this white light until you feel the lightness transferred into your physical being.

As they say, nature abhors a vacuum, so take a few moments to focus on what you are grateful for. You can say it out loud or write it down, but really feel that gratitude, allowing it to fill the space that now exists within you. The gratitude does not need to tie back into what was just released, but should feel genuine, and might even bring a smile to your face.

Repeat this exercise every couple of days until you feel like the forgiveness has truly sunk in throughout your body and mind.

Burning Bowl Ritual

There are a variety of different ways to do this ritual, which is often practiced when something is coming to an end as a way of releasing the past before the new work can begin.

Gather together a few materials that you’ll need for this ritual: a candle, a lighter or matches, a pad of paper or slips of paper, a pen, a bowl to catch the ashes. Optional: tweezers, sage.

Write down on individual pieces of paper all of the things that you are ready to release, from an old belief or pattern to a person. Keep in mind that releasing a person does not have to mean that you are rejecting them from your life but it is an acknowledgment that they are on their own path as you are on yours. When you are finished writing things down, take a few moments to relax, closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths to allow any last nuggets to come to mind.

Light the candle you have in front of you. You might choose to say a little prayer, whatever comes to mind about your intention for this ritual. Pick up the first piece of paper, holding onto just the corner. (Optional: use tweezers to hold the pieces of paper to protect your fingers from the flame.) Read what is written on the paper, saying out loud that you are ready to release this belief, pattern, person, etc. Affirm what you accept into your life, the positive thing you’d like to see manifest with this release. For example, if the thing you are releasing is your debt, then you’d say something like: “I release this debt. I know that I am prosperous and I am now living my life from that place of abundance.” Allow this affirmation to sink in as you place the slip of paper in the candle’s flame. Watch the words burn and feel the sensation of release of this concept, allowing the ashes to fall into the bowl in front of you.

Repeat this process with each of the slips of paper you have written on until all has been released. You might choose to take this opportunity to burn some sage to cleanse the residue of what you’ve released from yourself and the room. Do something that feels ceremonious with the ashes–some people like to bury them, I’m okay with just washing them down the drain. Again, you might want to take a moment to do say a prayer affirming your intentions.

I do this ritual periodically, about once every other month or so, depending on what is coming up for me at the moment. There is no right or wrong way to do this–sometimes I’ve done them two days in a row because I remembered more things I needed to release or I felt like something was especially sticky. Just do what feels good here.

Tag: patterns

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