intention – Jenn Sheridan

Calendar Readings and the Energy of 2015

“Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.” ~ Johnny Cash

I love January. Much like the “new school year” energy of September, the beginning of a new year has a beautiful blank slate quality to it. For many people, it only takes a couple of weeks for that feeling to wear off — hence the rapid failure of so many New Year’s resolutions — but if you can harness that energy through setting your intention and raising your awareness, it can be an incredibly powerful time.

I have three rituals I perform every January. 1) A burning bowl ritual. It’s a great way to cleanse yourself of the energy from last year as you move into the new year. This year I included my boys in the process, which was laughable as my 3-year-old discovered the joys of fire and I quickly had to move the ritual outside while they talked to me through the window. 2) Visioning. Fran Klos and I co-facilitate a workshop to kick off each year with guided meditation, visualization, journaling, and a vision board. It’s a fabulous way to connect with your big picture vision for your life and for your year, listening to your inner wisdom to tell you what’s up for you this year and set you up for whatever goal-setting rituals you like to do. And 3) Calendar readings. By far my favorite intuitive reading to do for both myself and others, I love the insights I gain about the big picture energy that this new year is presenting more universally, the personal energy that is coming up for each individual, and how those energies are weaving together.

So while January always has a blank slate quality to it, it is especially noteworthy this year as the energy coming into 2015 is emphasizing a separation from the past so that we can experience life from a fresh perspective. The past few years have been intense, often feeling like we were being forced to drink water from a fire hose. These years have changed us fairly rapidly, at the very least energetically, but for most of us tangibly in our lives as well. While societally we have spent the past few decades focusing a lot of energy on the past — psychoanalyzing ourselves and dwelling on our history, personally and globally — this focus is no longer serving us, and may potentially even be to our detriment. I’m not talking about not learning from our mistakes — quite the contrary. What I’m talking about is learning from our mistakes and then moving on. Really moving on. Rehashing what has already happened steeps us in the energy that created those mistakes and makes it difficult for us to really show up in a new way when the next similar situation arises. As Einstein said, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” We need to fully separate from the old in order to truly experience the new, in part because we really aren’t the same people we used to be and we can’t really see that and experience what that means until we truly let go of what has come before and allow ourselves to use our new eyes to see.

What do I mean by our new eyes? It’s as if we are all walking around wearing scuba gear even though we can now breathe under water. This scuba diver keeps walking through my head and my readings, clumping around in his heavy gear, gear that is pretty high maintenance to boot, and it’s all completely unnecessary. The shear weight of it — can you imagine releasing all that weight, how much easier and freer you would feel in your endeavors large and small? Our awareness of this shift is at varying levels — some people are completely unaware, typically the folks who are clinging so hard to nostalgia of our past that they are fighting and resisting change in all aspects of their lives; some people are aware a shift is taking place but haven’t seen much evidence in their own lives to understand what this means for them yet, perhaps not willing to embrace change until they understand where it is leading them; some people have taken their helmets off and are wide-eyed and amazed at how easily they are able to do things they used to really struggle with; and there are even some who have taken the whole suit off and are beginning to live their lives in ways that probably seem very strange to the rest of us. The news is full of reports that point strongly towards that first category, which can make it so easy to miss the shift that is taking place everywhere else. But it is going to become harder and harder to miss, and for most of us, we are going to find that we need to actively be a part of that shift. As Anais Nin said, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

So how can you tell if the pain you’re experiencing is bud pain or blossom pain? That question can be answered with another question — which voice are you following, the one that wants to keep you small and reminds you of your flaws and how you’re not good enough and all that, or the one that wants to push you out of your comfort zone into a place that is going to let you let your light shine in a new way? If it feels familiar (and ultimately icky), it’s bud pain. If it feels new and possibly a little scary, it’s blossom pain. That bud pain is only going to get more and more uncomfortable, and yes, it can be scary to blossom and you can end up progressing in fits and starts, but ultimately you get to emerge like a butterfly coming from its cocoon, with fresh wings that want you to fly and soar to new heights. How freeing!

Which brings us back to our blank slate. We are creating a new world, and we get to make choices about what that looks like. If we continue to operate from the level of thinking that created the world’s current problems, we will end up with more of the same. But if we can show up with the eyes of a child, looking at each situation we find ourselves in with the freshest perspective we can muster, we can open ourselves up to new ways of perceiving the world around us, and new ideas about where we want to go from here and how we want to get there. It’s funny because I think if we’d been struck with this energy a few years ago, we would have found it intense and possibly even a little overwhelming, but instead, after the bulldozer that’s been knocking us down the past few years, this feels like a breath of fresh air. For me, at least, I feel like I’ve lost a pressure on my chest I didn’t even know was there — I can breath so much easier with this energy shift, literally and figuratively. I find myself embracing Who I Am with a gusto that I didn’t even know I had, standing tall and asking for what I need, asking how I can serve, and sharing my gifts from a well far deeper than I’ve ever seen it. So yes, there’s an intensity about this year, but there’s also a strong dose of intentional choice, and so I am choosing to see this year as powerful and empowering. It’s all in your perspective after all.

Does this resonate with you? What kinds of new clarity (and challenges) do you see cropping up for you? What kinds of old patterns and baggage are cropping up for you to let go of, enabling you to be your own gardener pulling weeds? I’d love to hear how things are going for you. And if you’re interested in gaining more insight into what all of this means for you this year, I’ll be doing calendar readings through at least February 15th. And BONUS! Anyone who signs up for their calendar reading between now and then gets entered into a drawing for a free issue-specific intuitive reading to be used at any point in 2015. No matter what you choose, I look forward to hearing how 2015 is shaping up for you, and what choices you are making to help shift your energy and the energy around you towards the freedom and expansion that is becoming increasingly available to us all. Namaste.

Visioning

Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. ~ Carl Jung

I am getting excited as I prepare to help facilitate a visioning workshop next weekend. I’m not big on New Year’s resolutions — they are far too easily discarded as life throws its incessant curve balls at you. Instead, I am a big believer in creating a vision for where you want to go in life, revisiting it from time to time to make sure it still resonates, but mostly just living life with that vision in mind.

In order to create a vision, you need to listen to your own inner wisdom. The first time I was introduced to the concept of visioning, I was led through a guided meditation that started by stilling the chatter of my mind so I could really connect with my divine wisdom, and then that wisdom showed me images of what me living my life fully really looked like. I have since gone through a variety of visioning exercises, but I think those two core components are always present — getting still enough to listen, and then allowing the vision to unfold, almost like it is being unveiled to you. As a result of this kind of process, you may see yourself living a life you haven’t even thought to dream of, and yet somehow it just feels right, it feels like it matches who you are and what you want in life.

So how does visioning differ from dreaming about where you want to be? The major key here that I see is that when you dream, there is a wistful feeling about it. As Carl Jung says, that dream lies outside of you, which I think makes it feel unattainable because you don’t wholly own it. When you create a vision, it resonates with you because it comes from within. It may feel like a huge stretch from where you find yourself in this moment, but you can visualize yourself living that life, perhaps because on some level you already have it.

Visioning can provide you a big picture vision for your life, but it can also be a powerful tool for the short-term. I like to do at least one visioning exercise each year — it helps me to see if my big-picture vision still resonates and helps me to visualize what steps I can take in the near future to move in the direction of my vision. One of my favorite tools in this process is the Vision Board, which is a large part of our upcoming workshop. I display my annual Vision Board prominently so that I can always look at it — sometimes it’s for inspiration, sometimes it’s a reminder, and sometimes it just feels good, like a warm and fuzzy hug to wrap myself up in. It is a snapshot of my current trajectory — a mixture of where I am today and where I see myself going from here, all the good stuff that I want to focus on and attract more of into my life. Last year’s Vision Board is covered in green — lots of plants and vegetables and trees and arbors. I didn’t know it at the time, but it turned out to be a year full of growing and gardening, with visits to farms in addition to my first vegetable garden, lots of wandering in the woods, and ultimately the purchase of a home with beautiful trees surrounding it and even a green lawn.

So how does visioning differ from goal setting? I guess my question in return would be, where are you getting those goals from? If you dream of having a large house with a sports car and a slim figure, your goals will likely be about achieving some steps in the direction of those dreams. The problem is that when the dream feels unattainable, on some level that feeling taints the associated goals as well, making it easy to throw your hands up and make excuses for why you cannot achieve your goals. So yes, visioning differs from goal setting, but once you have a vision it can be easier to set goals that come up out of that vision for your life, baby steps on the way towards living that vision. The goals become a bridge from where you are today towards where you want to be.

I remember how startled I was when that first visioning process showed me as the mother of two children. Up until that point I had been decidedly anti-children. I was so shocked that the first “goal” I had was to really look at why I thought I didn’t want children and to allow myself to consider what it would be like to be a mum, trying it on like a hat to see if it fit. That process uncovered a lot of stuff for me, old beliefs that weren’t serving me anymore that once released allowed me to be more open to many possibilities available to me that I had previously shut myself off from. Once I opened myself up to this idea of having kids, it kind of had a life of its own, it flowed without my having to do a whole lot to make it happen. To me, that’s a sign that where you are headed is in alignment with who you are. When life is constantly throwing up obstacles to your path, that’s a good time to ask yourself if it’s truly a path you need to be on.

The beauty of the vision is that it becomes your “true north” for your compass — now you have something to set your sights on, something to point yourself toward. But it isn’t a list to check off — the things you will have and/or accomplish by a certain date. Life may take you to a variety of different places along the route to your vision, but these stops along the way are really just steps that are bringing you closer to that vision whether it is obvious to you or not. Almost by accident, my vision is coming into fruition in unexpected ways. It isn’t unfolding anywhere near like I had imagined it would, perhaps mostly because originally I had no idea how on earth I was going to get from “here” to “there.” At some point along the way I realized that I’m already “there” — the details are still evolving, but the foundation has been laid and the construction is underway. It’s a work in progress, but oh my, what a journey. I find myself grateful for this path and for all the manifestations along the way, from tomatoes in the garden to my beautiful boys. Life is good. Namaste.

Photo: juliustrum – last steps to the light by Till Krech

Do you really mean it?

You know that feeling when life grants you a wish, and everything feels like it’s falling into place for a while? It’s such a delicious feeling, with joy and love and a sense of fulfillment blossoming in your heart. It’s like you have the ultimate green thumb, and everything you touch flourishes. I don’t know about you, but for me, I always have this sense of relief, like I’ve finally gotten it, like I’ve arrived. Ah, such sweetness.

And then the next week, or day, or hour even, Something Happens. It might be small–a stubbed toe–or perhaps seem ginormous and overwhelming–a broken leg or, ahem, a pinched nerve. It might appear that life is throwing a curve ball–a reorg at the office–or perhaps it looks like a thrown game–a layoff or a car accident. Whatever it is, it feels completely out of the blue, completely at odds with the sweetness, completely disorienting.

You might think that these situations were created from completely different places, from drastically different energies. One is obviously creative while the other is obviously destructive, yes? Total mixed messages, right? Probably not. In my experience, 9 times out of 10–at least!– they are two sides of the same coin, the exact same delicious, creative energies just showing up in different ways.

This is what I call the Do-You-Really-Mean-Its. You’ve set your intention, aligned with your source, manifested your desires, and it is wonderful. But do you really mean it? Are you already beginning to slip back into old patterns of self-doubt, or perhaps making excuses for why you can’t really do all of those things you were all excited to tackle just yesterday? Or maybe it’s you who have been sending out the mixed messages, setting an intention one day and its opposite the next? And so, in order to clarify what it is you really are looking for in this life, the universe gives you a slightly different reflection of what it is you’ve been desiring.

You might be thinking, “Slightly different? Seriously? But I just got laid off!!” Well yes, to the infinite nature of the universe, that *is* slightly different. You asked for work that was in greater alignment with your spirit, right? Well, step the first was to release the old work that was no longer a match for you. (I’ve always loved being laid off for exactly this reason, so grateful to have the space necessary for me to let go of the old and embrace the new.)

This week my challenge has been to learn how to embrace the pinched nerve in my back. At first I was filled with despair–hadn’t I *just* been writing about how I was moving away from the overwhelm of physical pain? Way to knock the wind out of my sails! But then I remembered to take a deep breath and look this experience straight in the eye, and I saw it for what it really was, a Do-You-Really-Mean-It. I’d been in ostrich-mode for a year and a half, sending out a strong intention of wanting to hole up and avoid life. What better way to do that than to be forced to lie in bed for a few days? The universe was asking me which intention was the real one–to live life vibrantly, fully, and out loud? Or to be an ostrich? When I got that, I was able to answer with a resounding, “Yes, Please! I am ready to be truly LIVING again!” with a little, “Hey, next time, can you find a gentler way to ask?” thrown in for good measure.

Trust me, it ain’t always easy dealing with the Do-You-Really-Mean-Its. In fact, they are almost always challenging. But they are also great opportunities to send out “rockets of desire,” as Abraham would say, truly clarifying your intention within you and for all that vast power of the universe at the same time. This pinched nerve has been my opportunity to shake off my inner ostrich in places I didn’t even realize it was still lingering, and to surrender to the flow of life, allowing the true priorities to make themselves known (did you know that I was one of them? go figure!) in the process. Namaste.

Surrender

This is not the post I expected to be my first of 2012. As 2011 came to a close, I was gathering my thoughts and taking notes around setting my intention for the year. I’m not big on “resolutions” — much like “diets,” they seem to be things that you take on temporarily, and I am much more about lasting change. But there are a variety of occasions that naturally lend themselves towards a fresh start, and the new year is certainly one of them. 2012 is a year of power, and I envisioned kicking it off with some visioning and goal setting, perhaps a burning bowl ritual or a cleanse, really starting the year off on the right foot.

Best laid plans. This year is definitely confirming my belief that it is a year of power, but not in the grounded and flowing way I was expecting. It has been much more like wading out into the ocean and getting knocked down by a wave, standing back up again just to be knocked flat by another wave. And another. And another. And another. There was a Friday night mid-January when I was standing in my kitchen sobbing hysterically, frantic with how overwhelmed I was, with how much my life appeared to be spiraling out of control. Something broke in me that night, something that made me realize that no, truly, I am not going to get it all done. In fact, I’m not going to come even close to getting it all done. And some days that will well and truly suck. But most of the time it will genuinely be okay. It was a moment of surrender, and man, did it ever feel good.

Surrender can be a frightening concept. It leaves us feeling so vulnerable, so raw, so exposed, so powerless. But there is incredible power in surrender, in letting go, in getting out of the way. I find myself often believing the fallacy that I am somehow in control, which when you consider that I live with a toddler, a baby, and a husband is rather humorous. But when I let go, I allow myself to be carried along by the flow. And perhaps more importantly, I allow myself to step more fully into the moment and savor what it is that life is offering up for me right now.

Three stomach flus, one flu flu, and countless other ailments and challenges later, I look back over the last two months and recognize that there was a shift that needed to take place for me. A shift away from “holding it all together” to “going with the flow.” A shift from needing to get it all done to handling whatever is right in front of me. A shift from needing to be anything approaching perfect to just showing up as the best me I can muster in the moment. And some days it works better than others — it is definitely a work in progress, as with everything else in my life. But somewhere in the midst of this chaos, I have found some peace. I am truly grateful for this path that I am walking through this life. It isn’t always easy, but it always brings me the gifts that I need. I have never been more clear about what my priorities are, about what is truly important, about what I have to be grateful for, about how blessed I am. So thank you 2012 for your ocean of power. I surrender. Namaste.

Originally posted on Pachamama Spirit